I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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