it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
