is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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