THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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