she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
