I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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