He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
In America we eat man semen.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
