I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
