I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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