Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
