Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
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Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
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There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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