This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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