Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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