The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.