I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.