i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
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i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
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I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad