He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.