Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
