And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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