Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
