I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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