hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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