I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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