My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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