my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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