So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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