my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
