Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
