Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
