If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I did not marry a roomba.
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