We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize