So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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