Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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