Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did angry sex become our thing?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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