Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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