thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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