Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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