On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
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