remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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