I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
only you would photoshop your dick
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
