Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
