I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
