i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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