i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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