I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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