the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Someone shit on the floor
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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