We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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