didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
