You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
