i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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