There was a lot of him and a little penis
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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