Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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