And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
