Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
