i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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