i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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