Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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