Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize