I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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