margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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