Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize